Why You Are Being Overlooked and How to Fix It
You're the most prepared person in the room. You work harder than anyone else. You contribute ideas that could change the game.
But no one listens.
Your ideas get ignored until someone else repeats them.
You speak, but people constantly talk over you.
You work harder, but you're still not seen as a leader.
People who are less competent than you seem to command more respect, a lot more often than you do!
Often others will say that the solution is to work harder, speak louder, or get another qualification. That advice is just plain wrong.
If you want to be seen, heard, and respected, you need to shift something more powerful than your words or actions. You need to shift your leadership presence!
What Most Women Get Wrong About Leadership Presence
Many women unknowingly sabotage their authority by making these mistakes:
Over-explaining, thinking that giving more detail makes you more credible. It doesn't.
Seeking permission to speak by using weak language that downplays your authority. It diminishes you.
Trying to prove yourself by assuming that working harder will automatically gain respect. It doesn't. No one cares.
Forcing confidence and thinking that being louder or more aggressive is the only way to be heard. A good strategy for irritating people.
Here's the truth.
People decide whether to take you seriously before you even open your mouth. It's nothing to do with your actions or what you say. It's all to do with your presence, your energy, your alignment. It's something you radiate.
What Is Leadership Presence, and Why It Matters
Leadership presence is the unspoken authority that makes people pay attention. I'm sure you've experienced this for yourself with other people. People who just naturally, in some indefinable way, command respect and attention.
When you have leadership presence, people listen. You project confidence effortlessly. Your ideas carry weight.
When you lack presence, you're overlooked, even when you're right. You have to fight to be heard, or you remain silent and wither in the corner. And when you do get to speak, other people often end up getting credit for your ideas.
It's not your expertise that's the problem. The problem is that you don't command the room. And you need to command it even before you speak
I once had to control 1500 students at an end-of-year assembly at a school in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The kids ranged from kindergarten (4 or 5 years old) all the way through to 18-year-olds. The sports hall where they were congregating was chaos; kids were climbing on chairs, running around the place, shouting, throwing bags around... All the other members of staff were looking at their phones or gazing out the windows because they had no clue what to do. They didn't have the natural presence or energetic authority to stop the bedlam that was taking place all around them.
When I saw what was going on, I walked to the front of the assembly and without even bothering to turn on the mic, just put a finger to my lips, and whispered "Sssh". 1500 kids dropped into their seats instantly and in total silence. This is presence, and you need to cultivate it.
How to Be Seen, Heard, and Respected
Own the Room Before You Speak
People form opinions about you before you say a word. And those opinions are based on the raw materials that you give them.
If you enter a meeting looking hesitant or unsure, people will assume you lack authority.
Most advice tells you to "speak with confidence," but confidence is felt before it's heard.
What to do instead:
Walk into a room with your head up, shoulders back, and feet planted firmly.
Take up space. Do not shrink or fold into yourself.
Before speaking, take a deep, deliberate breath and pause. Pauses are good. People notice them and hang on them. Let them hang.
Smile! Smiles naturally radiate confidence (unless they're of the timid 'excuse me for even existing' kind).
People mirror what you project. If you look uncertain, they'll treat you as uncertain. If you own your space, they will respect it.
2. Stop Softening Your Words
Women are often conditioned to weaken their authority with language that downplays their certainty.
Common phrases that signal uncertainty include:
"I just think…"
"Sorry, but…"
"Does that make sense?"
These phrases tell people that you're unsure of yourself. If you're unsure, why should they trust you? Now, you could use those phrases, if you've mastered the art of putting some punch behind them. But unless you can do that, avoid them.
What to do instead:
Remove "just" and "sorry" from your speech.
Replace "I think" with "I know" or "This is what we need to do."
Make your statement, then stop talking. Let silence do the work.
Strong leaders don't ask for permission to speak. They expect to be heard. But they also don't just talk over everyone. Strong leaders know when to allow others to speak without jumping in over the top of them. That's just rude and a sign of a lack of manners - it definitely isn't a sign of confident leadership.
3. Use Energy, Not Force, to Command Authority
Confidence isn't just mental. It's energetic.
You've seen it before. Someone walks into a room, says almost nothing, and yet everyone feels their presence.
That isn't just body language. In fact, body language has nothing to do with it. That is energetic alignment.
This is where Reiki comes in.
Most people think Reiki is just a crazy energy healing technique used for relaxation, but it's actually a powerful tool that you can use to develop your leadership presence.
If you feel invisible in a room, it's because you're carrying hesitation, fear, or self-doubt in your energy field. Others will definitely pick it up and mirror it back to you.
A Quick Energy Shift You Can Try Now
Before your next meeting, try this 30-second leadership energy technique. I've used it more times than I can count, and it works every time. Remember those 1500 kids? I used it on them.
The Breath-Loaded Energy Shift
1. Close your eyes and take a deep, intentional breath.
2. As you inhale, imagine drawing in strong, powerful energy.
3. As you exhale, let that energy settle into your body and expand outward.
4. Now, take another breath, but this time, imagine loading your breath with energy. You can visualize it or simply hold the idea that it is happening.
5. When you speak, let that positive, charged energy radiate out with every word. In fact, let that energy just radiate outwards from your whole being.
You are not just speaking. You are sending authority into the room with your breath.
When your energy aligns with presence, confidence, and authority, people start listening without you having to force it.
4. Stop Trying to Prove Yourself
Women are often told they need to work twice as hard to be taken seriously.
That is a lie.
Working harder doesn't guarantee respect. It often does the opposite.
If you're always trying to prove yourself, people will assume you lack confidence. They'll continue to test you because you signal that you're seeking approval.
What to do instead:
Assume your place at the table is earned. Because it is.
Speak like someone whose ideas deserve respect, not like someone hoping for validation.
Set boundaries. Confident people don't over-explain or justify themselves.
Authority is not given. It's claimed. Develop a nonchalant air of quiet confidence and authority. Even your boss will bend to this. I never had a boss that I couldn't talk to like he was my best buddy. True confidence doesn't yield to anyone.
Final Thoughts: Change Your Presence, Change Your Results
People aren't ignoring you because you're not good enough.
They're responding to the energy you put out.
When you shift your presence, everything else shifts.
You walk into a room, and people notice.
You speak, and people listen.
You show up with authority, and people respect it.
It's not about forcing confidence. It's about aligning yourself with it.
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FAQ: Leadership Presence and Being Taken Seriously
1. I have great ideas, but people still talk over me. What can I do?
You need to train people to respect your voice. If they talk over you, stop talking. Stay silent, thank them for their contribution and then repeat your point with authority.
2. I feel like I have to work twice as hard to get noticed. Is that true?
No. People respect certainty and presence, not overwork. Shift how you show up, not just how much effort you put in.
3. How does Reiki help with leadership presence?
Reiki clears energetic blocks that cause self-doubt and fear of visibility. It strengthens your energy field, helping you command attention naturally. Reiki is one of the most powerful tools you can use to change your energetic presence.
All the best,
Steve